Sunday, April 04, 2010

Post rapture pet care service?

Are you a Christian? If so, have you ever given any thought to the welfare of your pets who will be left behind if the rapture occurs tomorrow?

My friend Cobus mentioned the following site to me during the weekend. It's called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, and involves a group of animal loving atheists who will, for a small fee, look after your pets in the event of the rapture occurring.

Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

I don't know what to make of it: is it a joke, or is it serious? Gave me a good laugh though.

14 comments:

CyberKitten said...

Now *there's* a money making opportunity I didn't see coming!

Dromedary Hump said...

Actually, its a very serious offering.

We have signed well over 100 clients to date since our start up last June. While small in comparison to our target audience, selling atheist services to believers is no small task.

Best regards,
Bart (aka Dromedary Hump)
creator/co-owner Eternal Earth-Bound Pets.

Anonymous said...

Genius!

Laughing Boy said...

Bart, I'm a Christian who doesn't believe in the rapture, so you won't get any money out of me. However, your idea is brilliant! You should really consider expanding into more critical relationships, like the believer's unsaved elderly parents or their dependent and/or disabled children. Sure, the initial agreement (not to mention any actual fulfillment) would be more complex and demanding, but on the other hand you could charge a whole lot more for such a service. Perhaps you could lobby for it to be covered by insurance! Or do atheists care only for the plight of the lower animals? It wouldn't cast atheism in a good light if the rapture did occur and those who were left behind took care of the cute furry animals and left the needy human ones to fend for themselves; although at that point atheism may have lost much of it's appeal anyway.

Good luck.

Dromedary Hump said...

Caring for the elderly, disabled, etc., would fall under government oversight here in the US. There are no federal authorites who regulate acts of humane animal rescue, nor demand specialized training and licensing of animal care givers.

Thus, even though there is a greater chance of monkeys flying out of my colon than there is of the supernatural existing, much less thye rapture ocurring; I would not want to become entangled with government regulations.

ButI am sure that as a non-Rapture believing Christian, who exudes Christian love and cares for the welfare of "left behind" elderly et al, you will jump right in to fill that void.

i look forward to seeing your business model outlined in Business Week.

Regards,
Bart
aka Dromedary Hump

Laughing Boy said...

So the U.S. government provides (or will provide) agents for the care of the elderly and the otherwise needy? I've never seen them. Are they covert? If in fact it does provide such service presently it is doing a spectacularly poor job, even by government standards. And once a significant percentage of the government workforce vanishes public service functions will likely be severely curtailed.

Nope. I think these worthy deeds will fall to big-hearted unbelievers like yourself since, even though I don't hold to the rapture, if it is true I'll be just as gone as Tim Lehaye and, therefore, I won't be around to fill any voids. Sorry.

It's not the American way to make business models available for free to the public at large, but if you send me $110.00...

Dromedary Hump said...

Laughboy...
you misunderstood. The govt doesnt directly care for people.

The government regulates caregiver organizations. Not just anyone can provide services to the elderly or infirm. Just like not just anyone can run adoption agencies without govt oversight.

The same is NOT true for pet rescue/care giving.

Laughing Boy said...

So get a license, submit to government regulation if you must, but that's really unnecessary. You're selling the promise of future services to people for whom you have no intention (or at least no expectation) of performing any actual service, so why the pretense of ethicality?

Only one of two outcomes is possible:
1) No rapture, free money.
2) Rapture, no plaintiff, free money.

Kevin Parry said...

Hi Dromedary Hump

Although I think your idea is brilliantly funny and clever, I must admit that I agree with Laughing Boy on this one. Insurance companies, for example, charge a fee based on the probability of an event (e.g., a car accident or flood) occurring. As a client, you pay that fee because you know that there is a reasonable chance that something might happen to you. After all, car accidents, burglaries and illness occur all the time around us, so it is only sensible to insure against these events.

However, as an atheist, I believe that the probability of the rapture occurring is almost zero, so I (and I’m speaking for myself here) would feel uncomfortable charging anyone any kind of money against an event that is not going to happen.

Dromedary Hump said...

Laughinmg boy... Now I understand the problem you have in understanding the legitimacy of my offering.

The fact that you would not execute said contract in the event of the rapture happening because there would be no plaintif to pursue it legally, and thus would not honor your obligations implies you have the mentality of a scammer. Your assumption is that I share that personality defect.

You are mistaken.

Kevin ... I live in NH. We haven't had an earthquake that has caused damage to property in the known history of the state.

If I asked an insurance company to insure my house, garage, and all my posessions against damage and loss due to an earthquake; and the insurance company said that they don't believe that such an occurrance is likely; but I insist on coverage for peace of mind so they charge me $1.00 a month for a ten year earthquake policy -- is that Insurance company conducting a scam? Are they being unethical?

The problem you have is that because you and I see the rapture as a an improbable religious concept that it's adherents somehow are due a degree of respect and protection that a secularist fearful of absurdly improbable earthquake damage is NOT due. To a religionist the rapture is more likely than a major NH earthquake. That you don't agree is simply a matter of opoinion...not fact.

The fact is that if someone wants me to insure them in the event of anal rape by Bigfoot I would be happy to write the policy.

Anyway, it's been fun.
Stay well all.

Hump

Anonymous said...

First: Kevin, to avoid confusion, I'd advice in an opening sentence stating: "Are you a Bible-believing, truly born-again Christian?".

Secondly, I still think all of you misunderstand the problem, and a much more lucrative business needs to be opened:

Now, although I am a Christian, I am pretty sure that all my rapture-believing friends would have consensus on the fact that there is no chance in hell that I'd get raptured. Although I share very little in theology with these friends, I have proven over time to be really adaptable, able to admit when I am wrong, and willing to adopt a new position. Thus, should the rapture occur (which I believe that I have stronger reason to doubt than an Atheist, since, apart from scientific considerations, I find the foundation for eschatology in the Biblical text, and am absolutely convinced that there is no rapture in it) I will be forced to change my mind on a number of key theological things. I believe that I can guarantee that I will be able to change my mind, and that I have a good enough knowledge on all things raptury that I'd be able to adopt a pro-rapture point of view within hours, if not minutes, of the rapture happening. The biggest concern of the target market here is not the care for pets, nor even for their disabled children. It is the souls of those left behind. Thus, I will sell my services, willing to do my utmost to evangelize your loved ones left behind, making sure that they understand all the fine intricacies of your specific form of rapture believe, so that they can join you when they last chance arrive. However, since this involve the highly specialized skills of theology, evangelism, and the art of short-term paradigm changes, know that you would have to really pay for this service.

Sorry for using your blog as an advertising medium Kevin :-)

Cobus said...

Sorry, that was Cobus writing.

Kevin Parry said...

Hump wrote
I live in NH. We haven't had an earthquake that has caused damage to property in the known history of the state.

But we know from experience that earthquakes do happen, they are not a figment of our imaginations. Due to the fact that they exist there is always a chance, however slight, that an earthquake might happen in New Hampshire. The very existence of earthquakes thus justifies an insurance company charging a premium.

The rapture, however, is something for which there absolutely no evidence. It is a figment of our respective imaginations. I don’t think it justifies any kind of premium at all.

I like Cobus’ comment: if the rapture does occur, then as atheists we would have to admit that we were wrong. Humans are more important than animals, so wouldn’t it be better to focus your energy on helping people instead, by spreading the Gospel in a post-rapture world to try save as many souls as possible? We can start an ‘atheists for Jesus’ movement, or something like that :-)

Thank you Hump for popping by.

Roger Saner said...

Sign me up for that Bigfoot insurance, please.