By Kevin Parry
When I once looked into the heavens
And into the starry lit sky
I thought I could see your wonder
And thought I could never deny
That you were the Rock of Ages
The potter, and I the clay
That you were my creator
For whom I could only obey
That on the Cross you suffered
Died and rose again
My burden was yours to bear
The sorrow, the grief, the pain
But despite all that you did for me
I still could not see your face
In the shadows you remained hidden
From every conceivable place
I then cried out to you
I gave you my soul, my all
But all you gave me was silence
Silence to my desperate call
When I now look into the heavens
And into the starry lit sky
I now know you are not there
Looking down from up high
For you do not live amongst the stars
But only within my mind
For I shaped you in my image
Within my head you are confined
Because I now know the truth, Yeshua
And I’m sorry to say
That I am in fact the potter
And you, are in fact, the clay
© Kevin Parry, 2008
Welcome! This blog covers my thoughts and struggles as an ex-Christian. If you like, read my introductory post. I've also written two "concluding" posts on why I no longer post here that often. Feel free to comment!
13 comments:
Hey Kevin.
Hope you're well! It's been a while, but I still get your feeds and read all your articles ;)
Just thought I'd leave a comment and tell you how freakin' excellent this poem is. I honestly thought it was some famous poem, but then saw that you wrote it!
I'm amazed - seriously. Absolutely excellent.
Cheers,
Kevin
Kevin,
That really is an excellent poem. About 4 years ago my wife and I both deconverted from Christianity. Unlike her, I was born into a Christian family, and the process rock my world in a way it did not hers.
Anyhow Karen recently pointed me to your blog here and I've read in it with interest, and a sense of camaraderie.
By the way, a friend of mine is in a position similar to yours, as he is still married to his Christian wife after his own deconversion. His story is interesting, not least because we were students at LeTourneau University about the same time 20 years ago. His name is Ken Daniels, and he's published a book titled Why I Believed.
Best regards,
John
Wow, that is great. After reading it, I feel as inspired as I felt after singing How Great Thou Art as a Christian.
I think you should put an "all rights reserved" comment at the end though. Somebody may feel tempted to steal it.
Seems like you made the same discovery as I did. Great poem! Take care.
Hi Kevin, Skywirelynx, lorena and matt
I just want to say thank you for all your comments and compliments. I wanted to try something different on my blog, and I thought about writing a poem. My attempt turned out better than I thought, although I think the rhyming lines of ‘starry lit sky’ and ‘looking down from up high’ is somewhat unoriginal :-)
But the poem adequately expresses my feelings and emotions when I left the faith, and you have probably noticed that it covers recurring themes on my blog: such as my wonder of the universe and our existence (and my original belief that God was responsible for this); my battle with God’s silence; and the change in paradigm to a more naturalistic worldview, to a belief that God is our creation, not the other way around.
Lorena wrote
I think you should put an "all rights reserved" comment at the end though.
Thank you for the advice. I’ve done this.
Hey Kevin,
What a great poem, I can relate to it a lot. Especially the true intention to believe, or 'listen' to god if he were up there, but receiving so little.
dear kevin
i will pray for you, you should read mathew 13 you are the one who had shallow soil. dig your roots deep in god again he loves you. it is never to late until you draw your last breath. god will still love you.
dear kevin
john 3:16 for god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and he whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have ever lasting life.
the lord still loves you kevin he gives us trials and mistakes so that we know how good it feels to have a blessing. like i said in my last comment. dig your roots deep in the lord and drink up the everlasting water. and become one with god again for he is the potter and he loves you even though your broken. i will continue to pray for you
[9] Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming: it stirreth up the dead for thee, even all the chief ones of the earth; it hath raised up from their thrones all the kings of the nations.
[10] All they shall speak and say unto thee, Art thou also become weak as we? art thou become like unto us?
[11] Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, and the worms cover thee.
[12] How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
[13] For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
[14] I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
[15] Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.
[16] They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms;
[17] That made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof; that opened not the house of his prisoners?
[18] All the kings of the nations, even all of them, lie in glory, every one in his own house.
[19] But thou art cast out of thy grave like an abominable branch, and as the raiment of those that are slain, thrust through with a sword, that go down to the stones of the pit; as a carcase trodden under feet.
[20] Thou shalt not be joined with them in burial, because thou hast destroyed thy land, and slain thy people: the seed of evildoers shall never be renowned.
[21] Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.
[22] For I will rise up against them, saith the LORD of hosts, and cut off from Babylon the name, and remnant, and son, and nephew, saith the LORD.
[23] I will also make it a possession for the bittern, and pools of water: and I will sweep it with the besom of destruction, saith the LORD of hosts.
[24] The LORD of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand:
[25] That I will break the Assyrian in my land, and upon my mountains tread him under foot: then shall his yoke depart from off them, and his burden depart from off their shoulders.
[26] This is the purpose that is purposed upon the whole earth: and this is the hand that is stretched out upon all the nations.
[27] For the LORD of hosts hath purposed, and who shall disannul it? and his hand is stretched out, and who shall turn it back?
-Isaiah 14:9-27
Hey! Satan thought the same thing you did. He tried to set Himself up as the potter, and God as the clay -- just look where He ended up! Let me caution you to be very careful with your thoughts on this subject.
(cont...)
"The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: there is none that doeth good." (Psalm 53:1)
I would like to think that you're not a "fool"... I would like to believe that you have more knowledge than that. Here's a definition for you:
FOOL (noun):
1. a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense.
2. a professional jester, formerly kept by a person of royal or noble rank for amusement: the court fool.
3. a person who has been tricked or deceived into appearing or acting silly or stupid: to make a fool of someone.
4. an ardent enthusiast who cannot resist an opportunity to indulge an enthusiasm (usually prec. by a present participle): He's just a dancing fool.
5. a weak-minded or idiotic person.
God doesn't NEED to show Himself to you - He's God. He CHOOSES to show Himself to those who have faith in Him. Sounds to me like you're lacking in that area.
"Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." (John 20:29)
Thomas also doubted.... and He got the surprise of His life. God is not a man that He should lie - so therefore, we KNOW that He is honest and true.
"For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13)
In Matthew 4, Satan met Jesus out in the wilderness and tempted Him. Trying to get Jesus to admit He wasn't Who He claimed to be (God in the flesh). Read on:
[1] Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
[2] And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.
[3] And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.
[4] But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
[5] Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,
[6] And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
[7] Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
[8] Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
[9] And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
[10] Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
[11] Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.
One last thought for you...
"Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?" (Luke 18:8) --- I sure hope you'll change your mind.
~ Heather
http://wheresinabounded.blogspot.com/
http://redemptionjournal.wordpress.com/
Whoa "Beautiful Self", did I detect a "condemning" and judgmental tone there?
Frankly, I don't think that any XChristian or de-converting Christian wound up in that place for no good reason or w/o a major struggle to believe without much success.
wow and i thought the beautiful self poster was only pointing out that the fake jesus.is satan! all those words that beautiful self posted apply to hiram king of tyre/the BUILDER of the temple/carpenter (same thing is says jesus is(a MAN claiming to be GOD!!! (same thing people say of jesus) killed by gentiles (same as jesus ) morning star (same title jesus gives self....
read ezekiel 28..
true messiah wether its Yeshua(Jesus) hidden in the altered new testament will NOT claim to be God!
God only spoke, wrote ever in HEBREW do you wonder why there is NO "J" or "S" in Hebrew?????(its SH) later they made sin (S) to be more modern
Very beautiful poem, Kevin.
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