A struggling Christian kneels . . .
I still often wonder if you are out there. I remember that I often used to look up at the stars at night and stare at the breath-taking wonder of the universe, and I just knew, deep down inside, that you existed. I remember the times I used to speak to you, and some of those times I really thought I felt your presence, and I just knew, deep down inside, that you were there.
But I’m sorry to say that I’m not so certain anymore. I have learnt that, on its own, just knowing that something is true, deep down inside, does not mean that it is. I will keep on searching, but I also need you to do your part. If you do exist, and if you are a God who wants to have a personal relationship with me, I want you to let me know. But God, I do not want you to appeal to my heart - I need you to appeal to my mind first.
I hope that one day I will join you again, and be certain that our relationship is true. I hope that I will be able to find you. But until then, this will be my final prayer. I hope for, and look forward to, your response.
an ex-Christian stands up . . .